Counting blessings. Again. March 7, 2012

Whoa. Seriously. I’m about as frustrated as I can be with this whole real estate process now. It’s been time after time of our realtor promising us that our subjects will come off, and then at the last minute, telling us that something’s come up with their other client, and that they’ll need an extension. So we heard this evening, again, that the buyer will need an extension because of some financing shenanigans somewhere down the line, and how FOR SURE everything will be settled by Friday. (Riiiight….)

So Mr. and I discussed it over dinner, and we’ve decided to give until Friday, and then that’s it. We “pull the plug” on this realtor, and sign with the competition. (How’s that for a slap in the face?) We’ve found a house close to the ideal area for an excellent price, and it’s beautiful! As beautiful as all those other places I’ve posted. I’m not going to post any pictures of this one because it’s like a tease. If and when we get it, I’ll jam up the lines with pictures of the joint!

So then, after we’d got done talking it over, and Mr. was still looking pretty despondent over the dishes (maybe it was the dishes?), I suggested that maybe we count our blessings instead of our disappointments. And it seemed to work! We’ve got a great little family; we live in a lovely area in a sweet little house; we’ve got family and friends who love us, and whom we love; we’re healthy; we live in one of the best countries in the world; we have a good income….On and on it goes. Seriously? We’re so fortunate that it makes it hard to be disappointed about anything for very long. It’s stressful to deal with this real estate debacle, but you know? It’s okay. We’ll make it through all of this. I know it.

Much love to all!!

Signs? Please? October 27, 2011

Since Mr. has been back at work, we have been discussing at length the best way to be together as a family more often. Clearly, our idea about winning the lottery isn’t coming to fruition, so we’ve had to go back to square one. Well, it seems we’ve got a few different options, and I really only like one of them. So every morning when I take Tiny and the little brown dog down to the beach, we say hi to God (the universe, Allah, Buddha, whatever you want to call the higher power – we are comfortable with God). We say thanks for having great family and friends, and for always having more than enough, and for living in a beautiful part of a great world. And we ask to remember to be patient, kind, and grateful. Also, we ask for Daddy to Please Be Able to Work Here. This is a big one, and we spend a lot of time thinking about how great it would be to have him working from home. We try to be more thankful than asky because, well, we kind of have the world by the balls no matter what the work situation is, but we always tack it on the end of our little talk.

So today, we were on our way down to say hi to the beach, and one of the neighbors pointed out that if we walked a little farther down the beach, we would have a treat! And we certainly did! Tiny loved him/her/it, and we named it Sammy:

Isn’t that the cutest thing? And he has his own Private Dock!

I started thinking that maybe this is some kind of sign from the universe. (Grasping at straws much? Yeah…) I really hope so, because the alternatives are bearable but not ideal, and I’d really like to have Mr. home more often. Let’s keep our fingers crossed, okay? And we’ll keep talking to the universe, and being thankful for what we do have instead of regretting what we don’t.

Much love to all!

Good morning! August 24, 2011

So yeah…Buying Karma…

I’m such a wanna be hippie. I still love the name, but was thinking the other day that I’ve not referred to it much these days (in all my 3 most recent posts ::rolls eyes::). Anyway, whatever, I’m keepin’ it, and eventually, I’ll come up with a great meaningful post and you will all (all? how many people are reading this?) be wowed!! Kazowie!

Right now, I want to tell a couple of stories.

First, as you know, I have a tiny, living, breathing alarm clock who usually wakes me up between 6 am and 7 am. (Not today, though, on the day when we needed to get up early – such unreliability!) However, a few weeks ago, Tiny gave his usual morning fart’n'grin at approximately 5:15 am. Ungodly – seriously… I could not for the life of me convince him to go back to sleep, much as I tried. (nah, I didn’t really; I’m a morning person too) So, we got ourselves up, and got ready for the morning walk with the dogger. While I was checking the temperature, I spied some amazing colours in the sky, and decided to bring my camera with us. It was a fairly brisk morning, with a few clouds in the sky, and the sun was just coming up. We have an awesome view of Mt. Baker, but usually in the morning, it’s covered by clouds. This particular morning, not so much! I’m quite proud of this shot for some reason – I love how sharp the mountain peaks are and how lovely that orange glow is. I know, though, that I was just in the right place at the right time, so I won’t take too much credit.

And that brings me to my second story.

So, on these morning walks with Tiny and Roxy, we’ve been “saying hi to God”. I’m a moderately religious person, I’d say; I believe in the higher power, but I’m not really one for church (unless there’s an awesome band, and then I’ll sing and dance like there’s no tomorrow). I prefer to think of the great outdoors as my church, and I want Tiny to grow up with some kind of belief. So, every morning, we say thanks for various things (family and friends, abundance, opportunities), and we ask to be reminded of various things (patience, kindness, generosity, gratitude). And we always, always ask for the ability to speak with intention and to listen with open hearts and open minds.

What’s my point? Since I started reminding myself about speaking with intention, I am so much more aware of the words I use with everyone, myself included. It’s important to remember, I’m finding, because I used to call myself an idiot often for mistakes, big and little. Since Tiny came along, I’m trying to curb the depreciating self talk so he doesn’t learn it. And remembering to listen with an open heart and an open mind has made me a lot more receptive to the Mr.’s ideas, which before I might have just poo-pooed right away. Now I’m listening, and considering, and it makes me happy to see how he reacts to my more measured arguments and questions. Also, remembering that we have so much when so many have so little makes me appreciate everything that much more, and I think it also keeps me from being a shoe grubbing consumer like I used to be. It’s a good feeling to know that I have everything that I need at any particular moment.

All that talk, just to share that pretty picture!

Much love to you all!

Thanks for the memories July 30, 2011

Motherhood has been pretty good to me so far. I’ve been lucky enough to have had Mr. home for almost 7 months with me. I’m sure this has made things easier than they might otherwise have been. We’ve been taking tons of pictures and I’ve been working on a book for Tiny at Blurb. I really want to have a lot of memories for him when he’s older and we can tell him all sorts of things about when he was…well…tiny. I didn’t get a lot of stories about when I was growing up, but I loved the ones I did hear, so I know how important it is!

Of course, we’re still sorting ourselves out nap-wise, but I hear that’s a common complaint from most parents. We’re trying to be as laid back as possible about everything as we can, but sometimes it’s frustrating to know that he’s *so* tired but just won’t sleep during the day. So today, trying to get the guy settled for his afternoon nap, we sat in the rocker for a snuggle. And I thought about the things I’m not able to record for the future with photos.

Like the way his soft little hands feel when they’re roaming around while he nurses.
Or how his hair feels when I rub my cheek on his head.Or the way he wakes up with a fart and a smile at almost the same time every morning.

Or how he sighs and relaxes a bit so I can tell when he’s finally sleeping.
Or how when I’m nursing him to sleep he props his feet up on my legs.
Or how when he gets really tired he chews on my face or blows raspberries on my arm.
Or how he smiles at me when I come in the room.
Or how he yells ”mamamamadadadaamamdmamammm” when I leave the room.
Or how he’s started noticing so much more of the world.
Or how much we love having him around.

There’s so much more. I wish I could keep him at this age for way longer. I can honestly say this is not even close to lasting long enough. I know that there are other fun times (and some probably not so fun times) coming, but this is such a special time, and he’s such a great kid. I can totally see why people have more than one!

A New Community July 30, 2011

Oh boy the time I spent on the couch with this little boy! I thought the marathon feedings would never end, I thought I would never have a spare moment to myself, I thought I would never be able to cover “the girls” again. Then suddenly, the long hours were over. Tiny started to get older, more efficient at feeding, and ultimately, interested in things other than his mom! *sob* Mind you, I still don’t have too many spare moments, but they’re coming along I’m sure. And the girls are surviving. Barely. But that’s another story entirely. Anyway.

A few months after Tiny came along, P went out and got us iPhones. I didn’t think I would become as addicted as I have, but there you have it. The reason is pretty simple really. I found out that there is a virtual “mommunity” (am I allowed to do that?) out there, offering support, friendship, advice, and laughs at all hours of the day or night! I’ve connected with moms across Canada and the US, and have read more blog posts (at the oddest hours!) than I care to admit. I’ve laughed and cried and pondered. And most of all, I’ve been inspired! Thanks to all of you for your great words that have helped me through many insecurities and anxieties; it’s nice to know we’re all in this together!

So I kind of wanted to say thanks. Thanks to all the women who’ve inspired me with their writing and ideas and words of wisdom. There are so many of you, and every one of you has contributed to my life in some way. I’ve learned more patience, perseverance, and perspective than I might have otherwise. And I’ve also learned a few new swear words!

Anyway, the list grows longer every day that goes by, and while I do have IRL friends whom I love and cherish, I’m happy to have added to my network and I look forward to sharing struggles and successes both online and off!

If you gotta do it… May 26, 2010

I despise my commute, especially today. With little sleep, my tolerance for humanity was at an all time low, and I swore I was going to punch the woman whose lunch goosed me several times. Also, it rained. A lot. Typical Vancouver style rain that just kept going and going and going on the backdrop of a light grey sky with nary a peek of sunshine. On top of that, my iPod was broken, so I couldn’t even drown out the cacophony of engine sounds and honking when I came off the train downtown.

How’s that for positive thoughts, dear readers? Yeah, I fall down sometimes. And pretty hard, too, it would seem.

So I walked my obligatory 5 blocks to work in the rain with my hood on and my backpack swinging, taking in all the sounds around me, and mustering up a keen dislike for the world. Pulled into my cube, groaned inside, and fired up my computer. Fortunately, I was able to reset the iPod relatively easily, so I strapped on the headphones and got to it. Surprisingly, with a few things on my plate, and some music in my ears (not to mention more coffee…in my gut, not my ears…), I lifted out of the funk and made it all the way to lunch.

Now, if you’re going to commute anywhere for an hour and 20 minutes to a cubicle job in a downtown building with constant construction below you, then this is the city! The payoff? The lunchtime walk!! Rain, noise, people, cube – none of it matters when you can walk 10 minutes to the entrance to Stanley Park, resplendent with lush green plants (wet and dripping may they be), busy with exercise-y people running/walking/chatting/taking their downtown doggies out, filled with that scent (I’ve talked about it before – it may just be dampness…but it’s captivating nonetheless), and beautiful beyond words. Those hateful thoughts of this morning dispersed like fog drifting away from a sunny morning, and all I could think was, “Oh my gawd…I *live* here!” Or, alternatively, “Oh my gawd…I live *here*!” (place the emphasis wherever you like – it all means incredible things!) I actually got a bit lost today, which is really a treat, because it seems like around every corner of this city, there is a pocket of beauty: the little garden planted beside the sidewalk with the variegated green and red leafed foliage, or the little kids in little rain slickers jumping up and down in little puddles, a hidden park with just-glimpsed sculpture peeking through trees, or a giant maple creating a natural canopy over a bus stop. Then there’s the buildings. I’m a huge fan of wide open spaces, and even though we’re downtown and surrounded by structures, there’s no sense of claustrophobia here; wide sidewalks and glass and steel construction abound, and I love that there are the odd little throwback to days gone by – the modestly sized red brick houses with charming homey details buddy up to modern multi-storey-ed  giants and everyone looks like they get along quite nicely. I honestly cannot get enough of the downtown core, despite the various persons of questionable intent and the occasional crazy/drunk gardener (and that’s another story better told in person!

So I guess that’s my lesson for the day – get my cranky butt off my chair and get outside!! The weather will never be so bad here that it’s impossible to walk, and even when it is miserable out and most sane people are inside, all it means is that I get more room to swing my arms and let my endorphins out!!!

Much love to all!

PS. You’ll notice no photos in this post either, but I will rectify that situation tomorrow when I take the camera out for a walk!! Seriously. You have to see this!

Cherry Blossoms, Perfume, and Blessings April 16, 2010

Well, it’s been a few weeks since the last post, so it’s definitely time for an update. We have been having pretty much the time of our lives getting our lovely little house organized, boxes unpacked, studio walls painted and floors laid, and meeting some of our new neighbors. The community is wonderful, and we’ve had a number of folks come over and introduce themselves. They’re all very nice, and the neighborhood is filled with dogs and owners out walking and kids riding bikes and playing street hockey. It’s quite Utopic (is that a word?), and a pretty relaxed environment.

So we’ve had a crazy couple of weeks with the moving and renovations, and catching up and visiting with everyone we wanted to see, but we’re starting to fall into a bit of a rhythm, so now we’re getting ready to go out and enjoy some of the best BC has to offer. We’re looking forward a nice weekend weatherwise, and are trying to decide between hiking, biking, rollerblading, or just sitting in the hot tub on the patio. My feeling is that it’ll be a bit of everything. Whatever we do, I’ll be sure and take pictures!

Right now, I want to tell you about the cherry blossoms – I’m sure you’ve seen them, but I’m enamoured! I love how, from far away, they look like fuzzy slippers on the tree branches, and the closer you get, the more you can make out the individual bunches of flowers, and then the flowers themselves, with their delicate petals and their light/dark pink coloration. We went for a walk the other night after a dinner with some friends, and it was lovely!! The air was scented with BC perfume (not what you think!): cherry and apple blossoms, lilac, freshly mown grass, and the smell of wet earth that comes in the summer just before it rains (you know the smell…). If I could just roll around in that smell like a dog, I would be one happy camper!!

So I started a new job this week, which came as a bit of a nice surprise. Funny how last week, I had mentioned to Pat that I was thinking of going out and getting a temporary gig until something solid came about, and about an hour later, I got a call from my new boss, asking me if I could start on Monday! So all the concern and worry about being unemployed is gone, and I’m feeling again like a fine upstanding young citizen! (ok, young might be a relative term, but whatever…)

Given all that’s happened for us over the past months, I’m convinced that it’s true that the Universe will give you exactly what you want, if you ask. That, or I am just a truly blessed person: I have a husband who loves me, despite crazy hair and temper tantrums, an awesome family, the cutest niece in the world, the most ridiculously spoiled dog on the face of the planet, a beautiful little beach house to come home to every day, and a job that lets me enjoy it all! Never mind all the other joys I encounter every single day: walking on the beach and finding the perfect rock; discovering the beautiful plants coming up in the garden; finding an awesome rocking chair and a cute little picnic table (perfect for a niece!) in a pile of stuff on ‘junk day’; perfect coordination between bus and sky train on a morning commute, and lots of space to enjoy on the train; great coworkers who come by just to welcome me to the office; and so many more! I’m truly grateful for all the joys I have.

I wanted to leave you with some of my most recent photos, taken around our house and my mom’s house on a weekend visit. While the greenery is not so much a sign of spring out here, certainly the blooms are a good indication that warmer weather is on its way!!!

Much love to all!

End of an era… March 12, 2010

So that’s it. Yesterday was my last day of work in Ottawa; I am technically unemployed at the moment. That’s not to say that I’m not busy – on the contrary, I have now started the “frantically packing and cleaning” phase of my life. That will be followed by the “6-7 days of 8-10 hour driving” phase. Which, then, thankfully, will be followed by the “relaxing near the beach and playing with my niece” phase, which is what it was all about anyway.

I’m bittersweet on leaving Ottawa – I made some really awesome friends here, and I love them all. I had great opportunities, and one of the best bosses around! I learned a lot, and hopefully will be able to translate some of that knowledge into a good job out West. My work colleagues were wonderful and it was really tough to say goodbye to them. I take heart in knowing that many of them will be heading out to BC at some time, and will hopefully come to visit me!

So, this is a short post to check in and to let you know that there will be cross country photos and updates coming throughout the next week and a half. Now…where did I put those boxes? …

Happy New Year!! January 5, 2010

Wow! I hope everyone had as great a holiday as I did!

Long story short, my wonderful brother and his awesome girl had a baby on Boxing Day, and I was lucky enough to be there to meet the beautiful little girl. She is absolutely perfect, and I can’t wait to witness her growing into a fantastic human being. When I saw my brother tenderly holding that little bundle of baby, I saw a side of him that I’d not had the chance to see before, and I love it! I am so proud of both of them, mama and papa, for being loving, caring, and conscientious parents. I can see that little Laura will be well taken care of and well loved. Here’s one shot to share; the rest I’m keeping for myself!

While out in Vancouver, we did some walking around on Granville Island, and I snapped a few shots in the market. I love it there – so much going on!! Even more over the Christmas holidays, and you could tell which shops were the most popular for fixin’s for dinner!

After enjoying a lively and delicious Christmas dinner at my brother’s new in-law’s house, Pat and I went up to Cypress Lookout and he waited with chilly fingers while I took some night shots of the view over Vancouver.

It was a shock to our systems to return to the snow and cold here, but we passed a very nice New Year’s Eve with family and friends, and rang in the new year quietly in Gatineau. We’ve gotten acclimatized again to the snow, and have been enjoying snowshoeing and shoveling the driveway since we got back, and are gearing up again for lots more showings on the house. Let’s hope 2010 brings a quick closing date, and good luck on a cross country move!!

Another bit of excitement; today I picked up some second hand gear from a fellow amateur photographer and friend, who has amazing talent, but sadly, no time to use the gear. So I now have a portable studio, and will be practicing as much as possible with it! I’m also taking a workshop at the end of January with another fellow amateur photographer and friend to learn and practice natural light photography techniques. I hope to improve much more before heading out to the West Coast, and depending on where we end up, will be looking for some cooperative photo studio space.

In the meantime, I plan on posting regularly and with as many photos as I can. Much love to you all, and may 2010 bring you peace, love and joy!

Right now August 22, 2009

So, as I wrote in my last post, I’ve been working on gratitude. It’s going well, I think, and I am constantly reminded of how good my life is. Every day, I find something to be thankful for: dream jobs, boats, homes, and family and friends. (More on all of that later.) But even just taking the dog out for a walk is joyful – the morning walk is the nicest because it feels like I’m all alone in the world, and it’s all for me, right at that moment. It’s getting lighter later these days, so I get to check out the morning star at about 5 am (depending on how many times I’m hitting the snooze button). I love that the sky is that lovely dark color, and I can hear the birds starting to wake up, and the cars and the people haven’t really started moving around yet. It’s peaceful and wonderful and a great start to the day.

I’ve also been trying this whole “in the moment” thing; enjoying the experience of ‘now’ instead of thinking about the past or the future. It’s hard! I didn’t realize that I spend so much time elsewhere, which makes it really hard to savour the moment and appreciate what’s happening. So now, when I find myself wandering to other times and other places, I try to pull myself back, and make observations about my surroundings and think about right here, right now. I think it helps; it’s certainly a lot easier to focus on whatever it is that I’m doing at that moment when I’m not thinking about something else. (That’s my Captain Obvious statement, there…)

That said, Pat and I are planning for the big move back to BC, which requires a bit of forecasting regarding location, jobs, commutes, space requirements, etc. Pretty much all of this has involved a lot of discussion and compromise; we’ve hypothetically moved from downtown Vancouver to the Sunshine Coast to Squamish to Port Moody, and many points in between! And I’ve hypothetically had a range of different jobs from freelance graphic designer to federal government employee to coffee girl. And every time it gets too much, I pull myself back, and remind myself that the only thing I really need to concentrate on is whatever it is that’s at hand, whether it’s getting up and going to work the next day, or finishing painting so we can sell the house. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single footstep, so they say…