I didn’t know I would love being a parent so much. It makes me happycrazyfrustratedtired(exhausted)joyful and one day is never the same as the last. I’m constantly learning and changing, just like the little dude. We are good friends, he and I, and I try every day to be a better person because of him.

So, here’s to my son: he’s a heck of a kid – funny, cute, entertaining, (mostly) happy, energetic, and awesome! And so loved by his mama.

Well. Find a place he did. Actually, he found 3, but only one had the same cozy feel that our little beach house has. So…after 7 years of him trying to get me to move up there, I told him to go ahead and put an offer in on the house! Without even having seen it physically! I am going to try and accept whatever comes; I have a feeling that if I don’t fight things, my life will be a lot easier.

Here we go – loads of room, a great view, garden space, zoned for chickens, and with a tenanted cottage as a mortgage helper!

Isn’t it lovely? It’s got a great dining room, which leads out onto that big ole patio, which has an amazing view of the ocean! Mr. is ridiculously excited to sit out with a beer and just stare. I’m ridiculously excited about the garden, and about having chickens! (CHICKENS!) There’s loads of extra bedrooms, so of course, we expect guests (I’m lookin’ at you!)…

So, we countered back and forth a couple of times, and settled on a number. So now we’re waiting for our place to sell…oh goody…open houses…Will keep you all posted!

Much love to all!

Much love to all!

Funny thing is, the Mr. and I talked about it after our realtor left with the signed papers, and we are both a bit sad to leave here, even though the other house is amazing, and interesting, and on loads of property, etc. etc. After the way we came across this house, though, it seems like the universe wants us to be here, and we both kind of feel like we’re fighting against where we’re supposed to be. So…

We find out Thursday about our offer. Till then we’ll clean, and paint, and tidy, and reorganize. Once we hear, then we’ll make whatever next step feels right to us.

Much love to all!

If you remember, I was looking for signs from the Universe about Mr.’s work situation. I thought I had found one, but I think it was really *just* a seal. Oh well. Enter Plan E (or F or G or H, I can’t keep track!). Mr. has been trying to get me to move back to my home turf for 7 years! I was holding out for the perfect house in the perfect community, and it seems like it might finally have come. It’s a big funky house on a 2.5 acre plot that shares 16 acres with 5 other houses. There’s a workshop on the property, a greenhouse, a garden plot, plus a community garden. A studio (!) in the house, loads of windows and skylights. A 10 minute walk from the beach, a 10 minute walk to friends’, a half hour (or so – depends who’s driving) driving from my mom. In a community that embodies most of our values and accepts almost anyone no matter what. Never mind that the mortgage would be a clear $100,000 less than what we have now, meaning that Mr. would have much. less. stress. So … why am I so hesitant about this?

Our realtor came yesterday and we signed all the papers to put our cute little beach house on the market. It was a very sad moment; I love this little house. Anyway, last night there was much discussion about the old house, the new house, feelings (blech!) and such. After a couple of hours, I felt better, and it looks like we’ll put in an offer on the new place and see what happens. On the positive side (I think), I imagine there will be all manner of trials and tribulations, and I have a feeling that I will have so much more in the way of blog fodder, so that’s something! You all (All…who am I kidding? I know my mom is my only reader!) will probably get a good laugh out of me battling the garden, the wildlife, the cabin fever. Be warned, people, I’m going to need you!!

So, here’s a couple of shots of the house, stolen directly from the realtor’s website:

Lovely, ain’t it? Let’s see what happens over the next week or so. I’m still trusting the Universe to guide us to the right path.

Much love to all!!

So today, we were on our way down to say hi to the beach, and one of the neighbors pointed out that if we walked a little farther down the beach, we would have a treat! And we certainly did! Tiny loved him/her/it, and we named it Sammy:

Isn’t that the cutest thing? And he has his own Private Dock!

I started thinking that maybe this is some kind of sign from the universe. (Grasping at straws much? Yeah…) I really hope so, because the alternatives are bearable but not ideal, and I’d really like to have Mr. home more often. Let’s keep our fingers crossed, okay? And we’ll keep talking to the universe, and being thankful for what we do have instead of regretting what we don’t.

Much love to all!

As you may know, Mr. works out of town, and recently went back to work after being off with us for about 7 months. Obviously, we miss him like crazy, but we have the comforts of home and all that is familiar. Mr. doesn’t and it’s driving him nuts! Despite my misgivings about exposing Tiny to a lot of media too soon, the convenience of Skype has been a godsend for us. Mr. gets to have regular almost face to face chats, and Tiny gets a reminder of his dad. It’s pretty sweet to watch them communicate through this relatively new medium, and to see the joy each of them gets from a five- or ten-minute conversation. Plus it’s nice for me too, to have more than just a voice floating through a phone line.

However, that said, it’s still pretty tough on us, so when Mr. got a week off in September, I suggested maybe we all meet in Ottawa for a whirlwind visit. We had a lot of babies we hadn’t met yet, and a friend moving to Africa, and a mom in law who has recently relocated to Montreal. So we booked our flights; Tiny and I from Vancouver, Mr. from Peace River. I was nervous about flying with a babe, but he was fine! A champ even! We had a nice time, a lot of quick visits, and were back in Vancouver and Peace River, respectively, in a week. It felt like we hadn’t even seen each other because of all the busyness.

So, another flight. This time just for Tiny and I, and this time just a hop, skip, and a jump. Peace River. Yes. A little northern town a couple hundred km north of Grand Prairie, which is a few hundred km from Edmonton. Interesting place – a bit (okay, a lot) bigger than the town I grew up in, but colder. And grayer. It was nice to have a visit with Mr. when he was off work, and Tiny and I did some exploring. I also found a shop selling Baby Legs, so picked up a few pair and saved a tax (go Alberta!).

The airport dropoff sucked – we had to hurry through security while waving bye over and over, and I met my first unfriendly Newfie (odd, right?). Again, though, Tiny was a champ throughout most of the trip, and even made it cheerfully through an hour delay in Edmonton. Note: do NOT try to feed a wiggly baby avocado in an airport with a plastic spoon while wearing a white shirt. You will lose.

So here are a few pics I took with my phone…

Much love to all!

I’m such a wanna be hippie. I still love the name, but was thinking the other day that I’ve not referred to it much these days (in all my 3 most recent posts ::rolls eyes::). Anyway, whatever, I’m keepin’ it, and eventually, I’ll come up with a great meaningful post and you will all (all? how many people are reading this?) be wowed!! Kazowie!

Right now, I want to tell a couple of stories.

First, as you know, I have a tiny, living, breathing alarm clock who usually wakes me up between 6 am and 7 am. (Not today, though, on the day when we needed to get up early – such unreliability!) However, a few weeks ago, Tiny gave his usual morning fart’n'grin at approximately 5:15 am. Ungodly – seriously… I could not for the life of me convince him to go back to sleep, much as I tried. (nah, I didn’t really; I’m a morning person too) So, we got ourselves up, and got ready for the morning walk with the dogger. While I was checking the temperature, I spied some amazing colours in the sky, and decided to bring my camera with us. It was a fairly brisk morning, with a few clouds in the sky, and the sun was just coming up. We have an awesome view of Mt. Baker, but usually in the morning, it’s covered by clouds. This particular morning, not so much! I’m quite proud of this shot for some reason – I love how sharp the mountain peaks are and how lovely that orange glow is. I know, though, that I was just in the right place at the right time, so I won’t take too much credit.

And that brings me to my second story.

So, on these morning walks with Tiny and Roxy, we’ve been “saying hi to God”. I’m a moderately religious person, I’d say; I believe in the higher power, but I’m not really one for church (unless there’s an awesome band, and then I’ll sing and dance like there’s no tomorrow). I prefer to think of the great outdoors as my church, and I want Tiny to grow up with some kind of belief. So, every morning, we say thanks for various things (family and friends, abundance, opportunities), and we ask to be reminded of various things (patience, kindness, generosity, gratitude). And we always, always ask for the ability to speak with intention and to listen with open hearts and open minds.

What’s my point? Since I started reminding myself about speaking with intention, I am so much more aware of the words I use with everyone, myself included. It’s important to remember, I’m finding, because I used to call myself an idiot often for mistakes, big and little. Since Tiny came along, I’m trying to curb the depreciating self talk so he doesn’t learn it. And remembering to listen with an open heart and an open mind has made me a lot more receptive to the Mr.’s ideas, which before I might have just poo-pooed right away. Now I’m listening, and considering, and it makes me happy to see how he reacts to my more measured arguments and questions. Also, remembering that we have so much when so many have so little makes me appreciate everything that much more, and I think it also keeps me from being a shoe grubbing consumer like I used to be. It’s a good feeling to know that I have everything that I need at any particular moment.

All that talk, just to share that pretty picture!

Much love to you all!

Of course, we’re still sorting ourselves out nap-wise, but I hear that’s a common complaint from most parents. We’re trying to be as laid back as possible about everything as we can, but sometimes it’s frustrating to know that he’s *so* tired but just won’t sleep during the day. So today, trying to get the guy settled for his afternoon nap, we sat in the rocker for a snuggle. And I thought about the things I’m not able to record for the future with photos.

Like the way his soft little hands feel when they’re roaming around while he nurses.
Or how his hair feels when I rub my cheek on his head.Or the way he wakes up with a fart and a smile at almost the same time every morning.

Or how he sighs and relaxes a bit so I can tell when he’s finally sleeping.
Or how when I’m nursing him to sleep he props his feet up on my legs.
Or how when he gets really tired he chews on my face or blows raspberries on my arm.
Or how he smiles at me when I come in the room.
Or how he yells ”mamamamadadadaamamdmamammm” when I leave the room.
Or how he’s started noticing so much more of the world.
Or how much we love having him around.

There’s so much more. I wish I could keep him at this age for way longer. I can honestly say this is not even close to lasting long enough. I know that there are other fun times (and some probably not so fun times) coming, but this is such a special time, and he’s such a great kid. I can totally see why people have more than one!

A few months after Tiny came along, P went out and got us iPhones. I didn’t think I would become as addicted as I have, but there you have it. The reason is pretty simple really. I found out that there is a virtual “mommunity” (am I allowed to do that?) out there, offering support, friendship, advice, and laughs at all hours of the day or night! I’ve connected with moms across Canada and the US, and have read more blog posts (at the oddest hours!) than I care to admit. I’ve laughed and cried and pondered. And most of all, I’ve been inspired! Thanks to all of you for your great words that have helped me through many insecurities and anxieties; it’s nice to know we’re all in this together!

So I kind of wanted to say thanks. Thanks to all the women who’ve inspired me with their writing and ideas and words of wisdom. There are so many of you, and every one of you has contributed to my life in some way. I’ve learned more patience, perseverance, and perspective than I might have otherwise. And I’ve also learned a few new swear words!

Anyway, the list grows longer every day that goes by, and while I do have IRL friends whom I love and cherish, I’m happy to have added to my network and I look forward to sharing struggles and successes both online and off!